Afflicted.

af·flict·ed [uh-flikt]
- adjective

1. to distress with mental or bodily pain;
trouble greatly or grievously

These days lately are so so tiring.



I'm tired of all this shit that belongs to everyone else, yet I'm close enough to them that it effects my life a hell lot more than I'd like.

I don't want to make any enemies but I will stand up for the people I care about.



And Libby, I'm sorry for what I said the other night and I'm very glad our fights usually only last a couple hours. I was crying everywhere while we were sorting all that shit out and I'm fucking sick of crying.







I'm hurting though.
I'm hurting so so much.
I've been so afflicted lately and it's waring me downnnnnn.

Halcyon.

Hal-cy-on [Hal-see-uh n]
-adjective

1. calm; peaceful; tranquil
3. happy; joyful; carefree

I'm sorry, reality, I do believe I have misplaced you.


Thank you. I've been wanting to say these things on my mind for so long and now that they're out and reaching for you things are just calm.

Halcyon.


This state I'm in right now is good so I'll try to stay in it for a while, but things will always change.





"In a dream I was a werewolf
My soul was filled with crystal light
Lavender ribbons of rain sang
Ridding my heart of mortal fight"

Such a beautiful song.... This has helped me so much today and kept me in this feeling of halcyon.

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Distraught.

Dis-traught [di-strawt]
-adjective

1.	distracted; deeply agitated.

2.	mentally deranged; crazed.

Origin:
1350–1400; ME var. of obs. distract distracted, by assoc. with straught, old ptp. of stretch

Stop stop stop.
Really, this is too too much.
You pluck away at these vulnerable heart strings of mine and I'm so distraught now.

Both definitions are so wonderfully exact.


I'm losing it everybodyyyy.

If I can't have you then I'll have everyone else and hope it makes you jealoussss.
It's fucking childish, I know, and you might not even care, but it'll make me feel better I swear.


Oh oh there's something gone wrong here behind my eyelids where the colors meet the pictures and thoughts are squeezed out from their little cracks into the open world where hundreds of beasts come and take them away before the poor darlings are even given a chance.

I want to give love, and have love, and be loved and I want to express myself so much more but I just can't yet.

The song Post All 'Em by YACHT calmed me down so much and just filled my mind with new thoughts.

I fucking love it.


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